When someone has a BPD Favorite person, they tend to have extreme love, attachment, and idolization for that person. These people want to spend as much time as possible with their favorite people.
However, when the favorite person is busy, they start to develop a fear of abandonment, and anger gets triggered.
According to data, 1.4% of adults in the US have BPD. If you are living with a person who has a borderline personality disorder, then this article should be worth reading.
What Is A Favorite Person BPD?
BPD Favorite person is a chronic condition that makes social relationships difficult for people who have this condition. It is difficult for these people to find a support system that is secure and consistent throughout their life.
It is common for people with a BPD to test people who they are in a romantic or platonic relationship with. They test these people in their lives consciously and unconsciously to see if they, too, are giving up like the others.
Individuals with BPD can take extreme measures to get validation from the people they feel they cannot live without. These measures often include making threats or moving cities. It is challenging to have any relationship with or care for an individual with BPD. One must draw some mutual boundaries while in a relationship with someone with BPD. This will help keep the relationship healthy and free from toxicity.
How Does A BPD Favorite Person Affect The Individual With BDP?
A favorite person has a massive influence on the lives of an individual with BPD. Initially, they seem like a savior who they often see and idolize as perfect human beings. People with BPD love to spend most of their time with their favorite person. They even have euphoria about spending time with their favorite person.
But this relationship, once so beautiful and perfect, turns into burnout. People with BPD keep treating their favorite person as their only support system and want their attention always until the other person gives out.
People with these conditions usually are super sensitive to criticism and have a fear of abandonment. A little transgression from their favorite person can spark feelings of anger, fear, and instability in the relationship.
Signs You Have A BPD Favorite Person
According to different experts, a series of trauma and emotional experiences with their caregivers can be the causes behind BPD’s favorite person. This disorder results in people with BPD building a close relationship with someone. They seek their attention and adoration, and they would sometimes even show indifference toward their favorite person.
Here are some signs that should help identify a person with BPD favorite person –
Individuals with BPD make their favorite person their center of attention. They consider their favorite person as their confidant, friend, and counselor. They become quite demanding of their favorite person and often feel extreme jealousy. Eventually, the favorite person feels that the attachment is becoming unhealthy.
Need For Constant Attention
People with BPD seek a constant supply of attention from their favorite person. This is common in BPD favorite person romantic relationships and other types of relationships. BPD persons expect their favorite person to stay attuned and attentive to their every need without any mistakes. They expect their favorite person to –
- Receive calls.
- Respond to their texts.
- And be on time when they are expecting a visit.
Having Fantasies About Their Favorite Person
People with BPD favorite person create fantasies about their favorite person. They imagine their favorite person to be perfect who are unable of any wrongdoing. They develop scenarios where they are connected to their favorite person in the way they want.
In their euphoria, they position their favorite person as a properly responsive who answers and attends to all of their emotional needs.
Constant Shift Of Emotions
People with BPD favorite person condition usually idolize and praise their favorite persons. However, these emotions constantly keep changing. When the favorite person shows any sense of setting a boundary or different intensities, the person with BPD may resort to abusive or violent behaviors.
Always Ready To Please Their Favorite Person
People with BPD are eager to please their favorite persons. They would often shift to the idea or opinion held by their favorite person. This includes changing their opinion about a film. All they care about is, matching their opinion with that of their favorite person.
They see it as a way to build a closer connection and a better bond with their favorite person.
How To Cope With BPD?
It is difficult to maintain a relationship with an individual with BPD favorite person condition. However, few coping mechanisms could be followed to reduce the instability. These mechanisms include shifting your focus, labeling the situation and your feelings, and trying to take a pause before reacting.
If you were looking for tips on how to live with someone who has BPD, then here are some that might help you –
1. Label The Situation
When you want a positive change, you need to have insight. First, you should be able to recognize the patterns of BPD. Identifying and labeling the behaviors in real time is helpful.
2. Focus On Other People
Individuals with BPD will find it difficult to focus on people other than their favorite person. However, once you have identified and labeled the patterns of BPD, you can try. This will take the pressure of attention your favorite person has to bear.
3. Pause Before You Lash Out
When your favorite person upsets you, it is possible for you to overreact or become passive-aggressive. However, once you foresee such an event, take a deep breath, reflect upon the situation, and take pause for a few seconds.
4. Accept the boundaries
Your favorite person will anger or disappoint you at any given moment. Sometimes they will set appropriate boundaries, which you might not like. But you must understand that no relationship is perfect. But you should learn to accept the boundaries and accept the reality around your favorite person.
When living with someone with BPD or Favorite person issues, you should set healthy boundaries so that the relationship does not become unhealthy. However, if you have BPD yourself, try seeking mental health support. Many therapists are there to help you with your condition.
I hope that this article was helpful. However, if you have any questions, you can put them in the comment section. We will answer them as soon as possible.
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