Perhaps one of the most debatable topics in child discipline today is to spank or not spank your little one. Yes, if you asked someone the same question an entire decade ago, things would be different.
Corporal punishment was how Boomers technically operated parenthood, but the world is a different place with millennials and Gen Z becoming parents!
Moreover, it was only a matter of time before people would want to break the patterns of toxic parenting. This is exactly why the question of whether spanking your kid is ethical or not? You might think it is, but how is your kid handling the same?
Keep reading to find out more on the same.
Spanking Because I Can…
The biggest logic behind doing anything where parents are concerned is because they just can? Every time you ask a boomer parent why they hit their kid, the parents will tell you how it is necessary to ensure discipline with little disregard for the child’s mental health.
This is where the younger generation of parents have come in to save the day by making corporal punishment for ensuring child discipline out of the question.
There are several effective ways to discipline a child – is it necessary to resort to some sort of physical punishment, or is it the easier way out? Sometimes, parents spank because they are frustrated with their misbehaving child. Sometimes, things spiral out of hand, and parents lose control.
Sometimes, there’s no reason – there’s just spanking involved. So what’s the solution, then? A consistent strategy for child discipline might sound like one of the best strategies out there. But, no matter what the reason might be, the consequences can be long-lasting and damaging in their own way.
1. Creates Toxic Parenthood Patterns
Before randomly claiming that spanking is an effective method for ensuring child discipline, it is best to understand how toxic patterns work in parenting. When parents resort to corporal punishments to induce fear in children, it ceases to be effective after some time. In fact, it results in toxic behaviorial patterns in the child.
Moreover, these patterns keep getting repeated in one generation and the next with time. All you need to do in that case is simply break the toxic patterns involved. We understand if you had to go through a violent childhood, but that should not be a reason as to why you must do the same to your children.
2. Loses Effectiveness Over A Time Period
Child discipline is a crucial time period for your child’s external and internal growth. In fact, what most parents do not consider in this context is how spanking or any other form of physical punishment gradually begins to lose effectiveness over a time period. Moreover, you need also need to understand how to be effective with your discipline.
If your child has already developed specific problematic issues, it is only a matter of time before either our child will cease to respond to you or things get worse with your child’s behavior, especially if your child is growing into a teenager. Therefore, focus on communication instead of acting impulsively every time your child irritates you.
3. Doesn’t Work For Older Children
Inculcating child discipline should be done at an age when your children will at least develop healthy habits. When you let things carry on for longer than necessary, it is only a matter of time before such methods stop working out for older children. In that case, there is no point in beating up your children.
The whole image of rebellious teens develops from this arc and not just that – the whole misunderstood teen is the same thing. Then there’s the issue of narcissism. If your child is narcissistic from a young age, the guide to how to discipline a narcissistic child has nothing to do with spanking 0r physical punishment of any type.
4. Models Aggressive Behavior
What most parents don’t realize is that children have a tendency to follow parents, specifically their ‘adult behavior’ – from lighting a cigarette to violently responding, children, can observe and imitate parents. Have you ever noticed how children always repeat what adults often say – it could be informal slang, something nasty, and sometimes, something inappropriate.
So if you think your child discipline strategy based on spanking is going to work out all fine, we are sorry to break your bubble, but it’s not really true. Your child can also become aggressive in their daily relationships and conversations. In that case, resorting to open means of communication is perhaps the most effective way.
5. It Can Cause Trauma And Emotional Distress
Not all children are strong, some might be emotionally sensitive and fragile. This is especially true in the case of younger children, they do not take spanking well. You might think of it as a form of disciplining your child, but for them, this is just punishment.
Kids often make mistakes, as they sometimes cannot make out what is right and what is wrong. If you punish them for acting on their impulses, it builds a hatred in them for you.
6. They Might Start Showing Anti-Social Behavior
The consequences are never long-lasting. Kids who are often spanked have a tendency to be bad in school or in their social life. They get poor grades and might even show some temper issues.
Because of the increase in their antisocial behavior and aggression, they resort to bullying. They do not get along with other kids of their age.
7. It Can Push Them Towards Drug Abuse And Alcohol Consumption
Kids who grow up in dysfunctional households and often get spanked tend to become bitter person as an adult. They might resort to alcohol consumption or drugs and any other substance abuse to cope with the hatred they have in them and with their childhood trauma.
It makes a deep impact on them, damages them, and impacts their work life as they grow up, it impacts their relationships along with the other significant areas. No parent should do this and scar their children for life.
8. May Affect Their Mental Health
The United Nations Committee issued a directive for children’s rights against legalizing spanking children and declared it as a form of violence. Thirty countries banned spanking, and the authorities believe that harming a child physically through spanking could lead to impaired emotional development, trauma, ADHD, and can cause other mental health issues.
Parents often punish their children more when they notice that spanking is not helping. Schools, parents, and other caregivers are recommended not to use spanking as a mode of punishment as it can make things worse rather than getting them disciplined.
Frequently Asked Questions:
1. Do You Consider Spanking An Appropriate Method Of Discipline?
The purpose of discipline is to teach your kid how to grow into a responsible adult. However, experts say that spanking definitely doesn’t fall under any positive discipline strategy and can have several negative effects on your children, most of which can be long-lasting.
2. How To Discipline A Child With ADHD?
You can discipline a child with ADHD in the following ways mentioned below,
- Provide attention that’s positive,
- Give instructions that are effective,
- Praise any effort given by your child,
- Take a time-out when needed, and
- Establish any system operated on rewards.
3. What Can I Do Instead Of Spanking?
The top five alternatives to spanking are as follows,
- You need to choose your battles,
- You have to explain the relevance of consequences,
- You need to operate on the basis of the time-out strategy,
- You can teach your child the importance of space, and
- You need to get experts involved.
And It’s A Wrap!
The child discipline laws by state can vary, but all states now do make it a point to exclude any form of corporal punishment. This is because, in the long run, children tend to develop toxic behavioral patterns, if not worse. In worst cases, it leads to children becoming depressed – as a parent, you might assume that your child has just become quieter.
But that’s where you will be making a mistake. The moment there’s distance between you and your children, it is only a matter of time before things get out of your hand, Don’t forget to let us know in the comments below your thoughts on the same.
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