Divorce is everything but easy.
Even couples who are lucky to end things amicably can struggle a lot to actually navigate the different complexities and issues of divorce, not to mention coping with both emotional and financial fallouts that are associated with ending a relationship, a marriage.
On top of that, divorcing a narcissist demands even more courage and resilience. When you are mentally prepared to leave your narcissistic spouse, it can start to feel like you are getting ready to climb a steep mountain, a mountain whose top is lost in the clouds.
How can anyone mentally get ready to divorce their narcissistic partner?
Luckily, there are multiple ways to start bracing yourselves for your upcoming divorce and the subsequent proceedings in order to ensure that the process is manageable, at the very least.
In this context, determining how narcissism works out and what you can expect during your divorce with such a partner is vital for setting your boundaries your expectations and ultimately developing the perfect strategy for your situation.
So, What To Expect When You Are Divorcing A Narcissist?
It doesn’t matter whether you are divorcing a narcissist husband or a wife. For so many of us, staying married to a partner who’s selfish, manipulative, and ultimately narcissistic can often feel all-consuming, confusing, and exhausting.
You will find yourself being drawn to your partner again and again – it’s a part of their grace, charm, and even, in some cases, remorse.
This constant ‘ebb and flow’ of emotional affection and annihilation can have a really bad effect on you in the long run. You might start to feel a gnawing suspicion at the pit of your stomach about how you are going crazy.
In the beginning, narcissistic individuals can appear to be incredibly endearing and charming. The deep intensity of their superiority can often convert such individuals into skilled performers.
Narcissistic individuals, as a result, behave with the one and only intention of garnering the adoration and admiration of others. A narcissist’s true self is often not obvious and even entirely invisible to others in their initial interactions.
Once the narcissist starts developing a romantic connection with someone, their toxic traits start becoming more visible.
In most of their relationships, narcissists are prone to showcasing emotionally abusive behavior – this way, they can control and ultimately isolate their romantic partner.
When narcissist starts to suspect they might lose someone or something important for their selfish interests, they often tend to dig those heels in.
Typically, narcissistic partners become absolutely relentless in their attempt to regain or even retain control over people they are close to, such as a loved one or their spouse. This makes it obvious that leaving your narcissistic partner can become very difficult.
Why Is It So Hard To Divorce A Narcissist?
So, what to expect when divorcing a narcissist? Most people are surprised or even shocked to varying degrees to find out that ending a narcissistic relationship is challenging, even when you are aware that breaking up is important for your well-being and safety.
The challenge of actually cutting ties with your narcissistic partner is too difficult to put into words.
It is vital to know that commonly a narcissist’s true colors do not surface for years.
This is indicative of the fact that you might believe your partner to be charismatic, endearing, and compassionate who loves and respects you.
Just because most narcissists understand how the perfect balance between compassionate persuasion and enforced control works for luring back partners, it’s natural for victims in such relationships to undergo uncertainty and confusion, leading them to actually question if somehow they are the ones at fault.
You might find yourself questioning your own experiences and feelings. But why do narcissistic individuals tend to have such effects on their spouses? Scroll down to find out more.
- Narcissistic individuals fight plenty to stay under the spotlight.
- Narcissistic individuals condition victims to depend on them for all their needs.
- Narcissistic individuals tend to make victims forget who they can be outside the relationship.
Behaviors To Expect While Divorcing A Narcissist:
One of the best tips for divorcing a narcissist is to accept the fact that it’s not going to be amicable. But that doesn’t mean there is no practical way to assert your story in Court without compromising your emotional well-being and physical safety.
Most narcissists often put up a solid fight and even start looking at divorce as nothing less than a competition where they must emerge victorious. This adversarial approach can lead to bullying, exploitation, and basic refusal to even rationally negotiate.
Narcissistic individuals are also known for resorting to manipulative and abusive behavior the moment they can sense they are not going to get their way or just plainly lose.
While divorcing a narcissist, you can expect your spouse to showcase the following behavioral traits.
- Refusal to provide any financial records.
- Refusal to work peacefully with your or even your team of attorneys.
- Act out of spite or become vindictive.
- Blame other people for their toxic actions.
- Ignore or even obstruct different court orders.
Divorcing A Narcissist With A Child:
Of course, divorcing a narcissist with a child is even more difficult than just divorcing your narcissistic spouse. For a majority of divorcing or separating parents, both child support and custody are major contention points – family disputes related to child custody tend to get ugly.
That is why determining your child’s well-being and future in Court can turn out to be a terrifying affair, especially when your co-parent happens to be a narcissistic individual.
Heartbreakingly, a narcissist lacks empathy, and this commonly extends to their kids – this also means that such individuals are capable of using their kids as pawns in the grand scheme of things.
Due to narcissistic individuals’ egotistical nature and self-centered perspective, they hardly ever consider what’s best for their kids and are mostly focused on either getting what they need or on their appearance.
That is why protecting your child’s well-being when you are divorcing your manipulative partner can seem like an impossibility. However, there are certain things that you can do to just help and ultimately shield your child during the procedure.
When your children start asking questions related to the divorce, it’s best to discuss everything in a neutral tone and stay calm.
Additionally, it might just be a great idea to be stable in your daily life by creating consistent rules and routines, even when your partner refrains from cooperating.
Divorcing A Narcissist: Tread Carefully, Be Safe, But Don’t Give Up!
Divorcing a narcissist is a difficult task – divorce, in general, is hard for most people. On top of that, you are planning on ending your relationship with a narcissist – so it’s only to be mentally prepared for what’s coming next. It is highly recommended that you seek professional help to deal with and effectively manage the situation, especially if you have children involved.
So, tell us, what are your thoughts on divorcing a narcissist? Feel free to share your experiences with us in the comments below.
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