“A Mother Is Your First Friend, Your Best Friend, Your Forever Friend.“
Changes are difficult in everybody’s life. That is because changing means stepping out of your comfort zone. Not all of these changes are bad. Some of them are happy changes. Take becoming a new parent as an example. Most people claim it to be one of the happiest changes of their lives.
But I would say what is more daunting is being a good mother. Especially if you’re the first mom or going to be one, you have arrived at the perfect place. So, while Mommy Love is in the air and mother’s day is around the corner, we have come up with 11 powerful tips to be a good mother.
Dig deeper to get the details….
What Are The Qualities Of A Good Mother?
We all love our mothers, don’t we? They do so much for us and are always ready to risk it all for our happiness. This is the reason why when we become mothers; we try to be like them. We try to do as much as possible for our children.
However, there are certain qualities that you should keep in mind if you want to be a good mother. A mother should be:
11 Tips For Being A Good Mother, Instead Of The Perfect One
If you are struggling to learn how to be a good wife and mother after the birth of your child, you should know that becoming a mother should be your priority at the moment. If you want to be a good mother, there are a few things that you need to follow.
Some of these tips are stated below. They are:
1. Be The Role Model
Mom Is A Superhero. Period
If you want your child to be a certain way, remember to set an example for them. Your child is going to learn from you.
This is the reason why you should make sure that your actions are always on point when you are in front of them. And practice what you preach. This is the way they will know what to do in a similar situation.
2. Communicate Is The Key
When You Can’t Find The Sunshine, Look At Your Mother
When you start communicating with your child, you will get to know all the things that go on in that little head. It will also make them bond with you. Ask them what they did in school. Ask them about their day and about their friends. Get to know about their life. You can do that without being nosy!
3. Show Them That You Love Them
Ain’t No Hood Like Motherhood
A mother’s love is unparalleled in the world. This is something that we all know and most of us have felt. This is the reason why you should let your child know how much you love them.
Be affectionate. If you want your child to grow up and be a better person, you should teach them the power of love.
4. Respecting And Accepting For Who They Are
Mother Teaches Best That Fear Is Not An Option
Nobody can gift you respect; it needs to be earned. And this sense emerges only when your child learns to respect themselves. Irrespective of age, every soul deserves to be respected. Talk to your little ones like the human being you want them to become. Lend them your ear when they need to be heard. Offer them roles in various household responsibilities; be it small, and let them understand what accountability is.
5. Support Them Unconditionally
The First and Best Home Of A Heart Is Mother
Even when they are very young, a child develops a sense of self. Your child will be looking at them through your eyes. This is the reason why they should try to always boost their confidence by supporting them.
Teach them the difference between good and bad, and appreciate their achievements, no matter how big or small they are. If you see that they have scribbled something on the paper in an attempt to draw your face, appreciate them. This will boost their confidence.
Read more : 10 Best Backyard Swing Sets For Kids
6. Guide Them But Don’t Take Control
God Couldn’t Be Everywhere, That’s Why He Created Mothers
As your child grows up, they will make friends and have a life of their own. You need to understand that three will come a time when your little one will not need your opinion and advice to take action in their life.
This is the reason why you should be guiding them while they are growing up but not take control of their life. Let them make their own decisions. Let them learn from their mistakes.
7. Constructive Criticism Is The Way
Life Doesn’t Come With A Manual. It Comes With A Mother
While criticism is good, you should make sure that it is constructive in nature. Most mothers try to be extra harsh on their children when they critique their work. This can make your child lose confidence.
8. Be Practical With Your Expectations
Mom – A Title Just Above QUEEN
When you start expecting a lot of things from your child, you start putting unnecessary pressure on them unknowingly. As they try to impress you, they may become extra harsh on themselves. This can make them underproductive as they lose focus.
This is the reason why you should have realistic expectations from your child. Do not go overboard. And do not make them the tool for fulfilling your dreams. Let them do what they love.
9. Have Fun With Them
Who Needs Superheroes When You Have Mom?
While you are busy being a mother and trying to correct your kids whenever they are wrong, you should remember that you need to have fun with them. Playing games and going on trips (big or small) is a great way to bond with your kids.
It is one of the ways in which you can give yourself a little break and, at the same time, learn a bit more about your child.
10. Apologize When You Have To
Mother Is Comfort; Mother Is Home
If you think that you have made a mistake, do not be scared or ashamed to apologize to your child. You are not a perfect mother; you are a human being with flaws like everyone else. So you do not need to think twice before apologizing to your children.
Admitting that you are wrong will only make your child realize the importance of saying sorry. This will make them better human beings in the future.
11. Allow Your Kids To Fail At Times
The First Teacher Of Life? It’s Always MOTHER.
Of course, it’s important to make necessary attempts while fixing your children’s mistakes, but let them fail as well. If he doesn’t rank in the class because he spent too much time doing social media, allow them to realize what he did was wrong. It’s okay to tip them but not to solve it; otherwise, they will get stuck in the inability of fixing problems forever.
12. Heal The Inner Child
According to Lynsey Retzlaff, LCSW and a mental health professional, “Moms may have had needs when they were a child that were unmet by caregivers, which can negatively impact their perception of life and ability to have healthy relationships, especially with their children. You can think of these unmet needs as parts of ourselves that guide our decision-making, relationships, and belief systems—sometimes without much awareness.”
If you notice that you are getting triggered when your child is expressing their emotions, then that is your first clue that you might need some healing. People who are disciplined for expressing some negative feelings suffer from this issue.
13. Evaluate Your Own Childhood
Childhood experiences are different for every child, even if they are siblings. It doesn’t matter if you require healing or not; it is always a good idea to look back at your childhood and think about what you liked and disliked about your parent’s parenting style.
According to Shari Botwin, LCSW, and a writer, said, “I have met several clients who have had nurturing, accepting relationships with their mothers. In those cases, implementing similar strategies can enhance your relationship with your children. A variety of people have told me, ‘I would never want to be like my parents. These are people who felt shamed, belittled or… unloved by their parents.”
14. Teach Them Emotional Regulation Skills
According to Retzlaff, “Kids are not born with [emotional regulation] skills. They do not know how to effectively communicate or cope with their feelings. It allows them to be well-rounded adults who can navigate through emotionally difficult situations, be assertive with their needs, and have healthy relationships.”
There are various ways of teaching a child emotional regulation. Obviously, they are not going to pay attention to you while they are throwing tantrums. Once they are done with it , teach them how they can cope with their emotions.
Frequently Asked Questions
A good mother is always there for her child. She is patient and supportive. She is willing to listen to what her children have to say. A good mother tries to be understanding and loves her children unconditionally.
If you want to be a good mother, you must be strong, loving, understanding, supporting, and willing to listen to your child. If you think that you are able to be all these things and are doing better to make your child happy, then you are a good mother
A strong mother has to be honest. She tries her best to teach her child the values of life and sets the rules that are to be followed to be a good human. A strong mother is not afraid of facing hardship in life and tries to prepare her children for facing the harsh world.
If you are able to instill the values of a good human being into your child and make them become independent, then you are a strong mother.
If you want to be a good mother-in-law, then you must know that there are certain boundaries that you cannot cross after your child gets married. Remember to stay impartial. State your opinions when you think it is absolutely necessary and be supportive of both of them.
Remember…You’re An Amazing Mama
When you are learning how to be a good mother, you must remember one thing. It is important to be a good mother and not a perfect one.
There is nothing called a perfect mother in the world. FULL STOP.
It’s all in the head.
We disappoint our children when we attempt to be “perfect” and allow our perfectionism to dominate. Why? Because we begin to teach our children that anything other than ideal is a failure by modeling our ideas and behaviors.
So, be a good mother, rather than being a perfect one.
Also, while you are on your journey of becoming a mother, it might get difficult for you to keep yourself on the list of priorities. Many women are accustomed to placing themselves at the bottom of the priority list. They feel ill or forget what it’s like to nourish themselves since they’re so committed to giving everything without thinking twice about themselves.
But, remember, the cornerstone for raising excellent mothers is a healthy mother. And keep in mind that your child requires you—a refined version of you, not a flawless you.
And That’s A Wrap!
When I’m weak and unpretty,
I know I’m beautiful and strong.
Because I see myself like my mother does,
Like my mother does.
Becoming a new mother to your child is always a great thing. Your life changes overnight. All you can think of is how to be a good mother to a son or daughter. You keep thinking about being the best and the perfect mother in the world. But that is not what it should be like.
It is true that being a mother comes with a lot of challenges. But it is a learning process, and you learn your way up. It is a process that starts with the birth of your child and never ends. But if you want to know how to be a good mother, there are a few things that you should keep in mind.
All the points and tips that are mentioned above are a few of the many things that you can do to become a mother that your children can be proud of. Be a listener, love them unconditionally, and support them in all their endeavors. But do not be blind to their faults and wrongdoings. Know when and how you should discipline them.
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