Your relationship with your child will go through different phases. As they grow up, it is possible to start having differences. Frequent fights, dinner table cold wars, and tedious arguments touching the ceiling are common – especially during your child’s teenage years.
This can be stressful for both teenagers and parents raising them. It is difficult to find out what they want or where you need to improve as a parent. They get annoyed by almost everything you do. The same thing happens to you too.
Constant mood swings and anger outbursts are more frustrating sometimes. So, how do you deal with all this? What are the secrets to parenting teens and offering them a healthy life?
Why Is Parenting Teens Difficult?
The adolescent years or the teenage period of a child’s life, is when they start to pull away from their parents to create an identity of their own. They start to develop their own ideas and explore their genders, sexuality, and more.
While teenagers are emotionally pulling away from their parents, parents find adjusting difficult. Until this period, the parents have spent their life attached to the child and caring for them. So, they need help understanding the space and the boundary their teenagers are seeking.
Good parent and teenage child relationships usually face conflict regarding the child’s school success. On the other hand, comparatively weaker parent-child relationships are due to the early sexual experience of teenagers and their experiments with alcohol, drugs, and more.
8 Tips For Parenting Teens With Love And Logic
No, it is not easy to parent a teenager. But, as a parent, you cannot give up. Here are some tips to help you understand your teenage children and raise them with a happy mind and full of healthy habits.
1. Be A Parent And A Friend
Teenagers don’t want love on a condition; they also don’t want to feel insecure or dominated. They want you to appreciate, love and care for them irrespective of anything. Teenagers do want some level of friendship in a parent-child relationship. However, that should not take away the little independence they have.
Their search for independence might make you feel a little shut out occasionally, which is ok. As a parent, you must be able to navigate your role and participation in selected parts of your teenage child’s life. Once you do that, they are more likely to open up to you easily.
Your teenage children want closeness, authenticity, and respect when you start bonding with them more closely as a friend. Once you are doing well in providing these, these are what you will get in return. But there are times when you need to be more of a parent than a friend. Because growing they might be, teenagers are still not grown up. So, it is important to say no or stick to rules from time to time.
2. Keep Checking Up On Them
You spend most of the hours of the day working, and the children are at school or hanging out with their friends. Do you get enough time to even talk to them? Well. You don’t actually need a lot of time to check up on your children.
Parenting teens should not be that difficult once you have a little chat every day. A short conversation during dinner or a chat before bed should be alright. If you are living away, a routined call or text to check in can work. Also, spend some time together at least once a week.
3. Appropriate And Active Parenting
It becomes difficult to parent teens when they are growing up. The teenage years crave for more freedom and space. A refusal to accept it can only invite rebellion. However, it is still important to know their whereabouts and who are they spending time with. As a parent, it is important to know your child’s friends and their parents.
4. After School Supervision
The wildest explorations start after 3 in the afternoon, and the window remains open until 6. This is when teenagers usually explore drugs, sex, and more. So, you have to make flexible time to ensure they are staying within certain lines during this hour.
5. Keep High Standards
Teenagers should aspire to become the best versions of themselves. You can ensure that by choosing different values and morals in life and influencing them through your personality. However, now is the time they will explore their passion and set their own goals. So, ensure not to strip them of their freedom to do so. Let them be unique in their own way.
6. Encourage Good Self Care
Among the best tips for parenting teens, helping them develop good habits is the best. As a parent, you can encourage them to get enough sleep, eat on time, and have less screen time before bed. Excessive screen time before bed reduces the production of melatonin, making it harder for them to sleep. So, less coffee, less screen time before bed, and good sleep are a must.
7. Have Meals Together
Even if it is only once a day, you need to ensure to have meals together as a family. It is a good family habit and gives parents the best time and opportunity to parent teens. Having meals together also gives your teens feeling happy about having some time with their parents. You can also get in touch with them and find out the problems they are having in their lives.
8. Regular Family Gatherings
It is important to have meetings as a family to discuss achievements, sibling disagreements, and conversations regarding other important family matters. During such conversations, everyone talks and everyone gets to have their say without any interruptions. If teens resist, you can keep certain incentives like ice cream or chocolates to make them engage. Coming together as a family to discuss different matters builds important social skills which is why family meetings are important for parenting teens.
9. Set the boundaries and rules together
Teens like to take control of their own lives once they start growing up. And the easiest way to deal with that is to involve them in the process of settling rules and boundaries for them. But of course, we are not suggesting that you let them make the decisions about family boundaries, but allow them to sit down with you while you all discuss the house rules, take their input, and acknowledge them.
If you find those fair and relevant then incorporate them. This way your teen will feel that you are respecting their decisions and letting them in into the decision-making part of their lives and the family.
10. Do Not Talk Down To Them
It is not okay and can be frustrating when your teens start talking to you disrespectfully. But if you retaliate with disrespect in return for their disrespect that might harm your relationship with them.
It might happen when you ask them to do something, but they refuse. They might respond with something hurtful or disrespectful. But do not reply to them harshly. It might affect your relationship with them. They have a tendency to disobey rules and take control of their lives. So be firm, and make your point clear but never with disrespect.
For example, if you say things like, “I am the parent, you have to listen to what I am saying,” that might have a negative effect on them. but instead, if you say, “I need you to help with these, I cannot do it all on my own,” they might listen to you.
11. Let Them Face The Consequences Of Their Actions
It is common that your child is going to make mistakes along the way. It is something very common. But when they keep doing the same thing over and over again, it becomes their habit. So let them have the consequences, do not protect them always, and allow them to face it. That way they will learn a lesson and try not to do it again.
If you know that you will take them to school if they miss the bus, they will never hurry. But if they miss school once or twice and get punished for it, they will try to get ready quickly. If they do badly on a test, ask the teacher to take a test again. If they face it once or twice they will study before their test.
Bottom Line
Teenage years are very crucial time in your child’s life. It is also difficult to regulate them and direct them into the right path at this time. However, you can start a healthy base for growth with the simple tips mentioned in this article. As much as freedom is important during teenager years, offering it too early can also be destructive. So, be very cautious and mindful about your actions.
I hope you have found what you were looking for. For further queries please contact us through the comment section. We will get back to you as soon as we can.
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