“Take it easy with that poor kid, will ya?”
If your neighbor had to point it out to you, then, possibly, you are being a bit strict with your child. Strict parents have a few things in common. They have a certain set of rules and a peak point of expectation that children often fail to measure up to. This leads to them being even stricter.
Have you ever sat down to ask yourself, “am I being a strict parent?” If you have, then we have a lot to discuss.
Are you worried about having raised your expectation to a certain unreachable limit? Are you worried that you are setting rules that make your child feel claustrophobic and restricted? If such questions concern you, then here is help.
10 Signs Strict Parents Have In Common
Children raised by strict parents start hiding their mistakes and failures from their children. They are afraid of the consequences of getting caught. So they start hiding. But how do you find that you are strict with your kids? Here are some signs common among kids.
1. A Zero Tolerance Policy
“Can’t you follow one word I say? Are you dumb?”
Instead of clutching the rear brake, your son pressed the break of the front wheel during his driving lessons with you. Did that make you mad? Did you lose your calm and composure just because he hit the wrong brake?
No, he did not do anything to ruin your reputation. If you keep adhering to the rules always, you will always remain rigid and strict. Tolerate a little. Understand your kids’ behaviors and evaluate them. Constant strictness and zero tolerance will only reduce your kid’s willingness to express and share things with you.
2. Your Child Has To Lie To You
“Strict parents raise the best liars – Kudos.”
Why do you think your son had to lie to you about being out so late? Even you know that he wasn’t doing the joint study. He was at Rob’s birthday party. Wait, you don’t let your kid go to his friend’s birthday party? If you don’t want to raise a good liar, do not keep a closed ceiling above all of their activities. Be a little less restrictive and let them set their own limits and learn to be accountable.
3. You Choose What They Wear
“I don’t expect my daughter/son to dress like that.”
Even after I was eighteen, I had to wear clothes my father chose for me. When I started living independently, I started wearing whatever I wanted. One day when he visited my place, he started questioning me about the torn jeans I had lying around my room.
4. They Don’t Stay Out Late At Night
“You’ll be home by 9:00, not a minute later. Is that clear?
Strict parents don’t let their children stay out late at night. Yes, they have good intentions and good reasons for this. But why do some of them lock their children out for staying out late? I remember my friend asking me to crash at my place many nights.
5. You Blame Their Favorite Activity For Their Failure
“From now on, no video games.”
Strict parents also choose what hobbies their child is allowed to have. Have you ever locked up your kid just because he was spending hours on PS5 or playing with a skateboard? Did a bad grade card make you break their guitar or skateboard or burn the sketchbook they keep with them all the time? You also complain about your child having the wrong hobby.
You were great at basketball, but all your son loves to do is play piano; you feel that it is such a shame on your family.
6. Anything Is Unacceptable
“This is unacceptable.”
When your son comes home with their hair dyed purple, you cannot stand it. As if they have put color on your reputation, which should have stayed white. Strict parents usually cannot accept both small and big decisions their children take on their behalf. You cannot accept their open expression, dress, behavior, or representation of themselves.
7. You Nag Constantly
“Do your homework; now.”
If you want your children to be responsible for their work, stop nagging. Strict parents habitually stick a ticking clock on their children’s faces. They keep nagging about when to finish homework when to eat, when to go to bed, and more. It is important to let them have control of their daily actions.
8. You Give Directions All The Time
“Quit dragging your feet.”
Strict parents want to control all their kids’ actions and movements. They want their children to “sit up straight,” “not slurp their drink,” and eat what you put on their plate. A parent must give directions. But you should save them for more important reasons where they are needed.
9. Your Way Is The Right Way
“Let me show you how it’s done.”
Even if it works for the children, strict parents don’t accept the way their children do something. Strict parents always want the children to do things correctly or appropriately.
10. You Don’t Praise The Effort But The Outcome
“You should have studied harder.”
When was the last time you praised your child for working too hard to crack a certain test? Strict parents only praise the outcomes. Even though our life is full of events, moments of success are hard to come by. This creates a lack of praise from strict parents. Your children start to think that you love them on conditions.
Bottom Line
Even strict parents must understand that they are raising someone who will become a full-fledged human being. It would not be possible if parents were always restrictive, directive, controlling, unforgiving, and choosy about their children’s actions. If you are having doubts about being harsh on your children, this article should shed some light on your thoughts.
I hope that this article was helpful. However, if you have any further queries, you can reach out to us in the comment section. We will reach out to you as soon as possible.
Read Also:
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- 15 Tips before preparing for fatherhood – The New Dad Checklist
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