Dealing with a narcissistic parent can be taxing on a child’s mental and physical development. Often, the things narcissistic mothers say can turn out to be so much more than her controlling and demanding behavior – these mothers or even fathers can say really hurtful things that can end up undermining their child’s self-esteem.
This is why growing up with narcissistic parents can be more than a nightmare. Narcissistic mothers are not just motherly figures – they are also manipulators who love controlling every other aspect of their child’s lives.
In fact, to exercise complete control, she might just go to any extent and say anything possible.
These moms are often inconsistent about what they say – they rarely ever mean what they are saying, and there is almost always an underlying message that is encrypted in the different conversations with their children.
Today, let’s check out some of the most hurtful things that a narcissistic mother might say to her child and how to respond to such comments – scroll down to find out more!
10 Things Narcissistic Mothers Say And How To Respond!
So, do you have a mother who is narcissistic? If you do have a narcissistic mother, then let us begin with our sincerest apologies.
Because nobody should ever be raised in a vicious and unstable environment. Secondly, we would just like to reassure you that none of this happens to be your fault.
One evening, you will find yourself cozying up with your mom, munching on snacks, and watching a nice film together.
But the next day, you might find yourself in a pool of tears simply because you did not agree with the things she said. Sadly, this is the reality of dealing with narcissistic parents, and it is a torturous reality.
Narcissistic parents can say some of the most hurtful things to their children – the impact can be long-lasting and even cause psychological damage. There’s a stark difference between the things narcissistic mothers say to their sons or daughters and what they really mean.
So without wasting, let’s check out some of the most well-known things that a narcissistic mom can say to her children.
Every. Single. Thing. Is. About. Them.
Yep, everything is about them – narcissistic individuals think that the world revolves around their whims and fancies. The moment things stop revolving around them, all hell breaks loose. Your narcissistic mom is the center of the universe – every other person in her life exists to serve her interests in the grand scheme of things.
These individuals are the only ones who ACTUALLY matter. A narcissistic mother will also think that their children are absolutely nobodies without them.
Here’s a glimpse at things narcissistic mothers can say to show everything is about them.
- “I put your happiness first, and I get this in return.”
- “If I hadn’t been so busy raising you, I would have had a career.”
- “You have ruined my life.”
- “You are trying to embarrass me here.”
- “You are the most ungrateful child I have ever met.”
- “You only think about yourself.”
- “You are my biggest mistake.”
- “I gave up my life to give you a better one, and you do nothing for me in return.”
- “I can not believe I wasted my whole life on you.”
- “You only did this to hurt my feelings.”
Your Feelings Are Not Valid. Only Their Feelings Are Valid.
Narcissists have very fragile self-esteem. The moment you hurt your narcissistic mother’s self-esteem, even unknowingly, you will find out that you have committed a big crime. Their feelings will immediately become valid – and you expect them to go to any extent just to hurt you for affecting their self-esteem.
Understand this, they do not care about anyone else’s feelings – they just care about their feelings. This is why your feelings cease to become valid, but your narcissistic mom’s feelings will always be under the spotlight.
Here are some of the things narcissistic mothers say to prove that your feelings aren’t valid.
- “You’re so selfish. You never care about my feelings.”
- “You knew I didn’t like it, but you still did it to hurt me.”
- “You always look for attention.”
- “Why do you always have to make a big deal out of everything?”
- “You should try being more like your sister. She is my favorite child.”
- “Don’t you think it’s a good time to join the gym?”
- “You’re so pretty, but you will look better if you lose some weight.”
- “You eat so much. Why don’t you start jogging for a change?”
- “You should take a lesson from your sister because she never disappoints me.”
- “You are a horrible child. You never appreciate anything I’ve done for you.”
It’s Always Either Your Way Or The Highway:
This is where you will find all the things covert narcissistic mothers say – covert narcissists are subtle about their toxicities. They tend to manipulate everything that comes out of their mouths – that way, you might end up believing, for the longest time, that your mom is always right.
But that’s not the truth. The truth is your mother is probably manipulating things – if you don’t do what they say, then you are wrong. It’s either their way or the highway.
They will convince you that what they are saying is the right thing to do – but on closer look, you are likely to find out that what your mom wants is just selfish. Here’s a glimpse at the things narcissistic mothers say to indicate that it’s either their way or the highway!
- “Stop crying, or I’ll give you something to cry about.”
- “If you ever do that, you are not my son.”
- “Do this now, or you’ll never do it.”
- “No wonder you don’t have any friends.”
- “You will never amount to anything.”
- “Why did you do this to hurt me?”
- “You don’t deserve everything that I have done for you.”
- “Nobody cares what you have to say.”
- “You should never wear this dress; it makes you look fat.”
- “You don’t deserve to be happy.”
Their Manipulation Game Is VERY, VERY, VERY Strong!
Any narcissistic individual’s biggest weapon is their manipulation skills. Good manipulation skills help narcissists exercise control – when a narcissist loses control, they start acting crazy.
Moreover, manipulation can exist in multiple forms shaming, gaslighting, blaming, raging, and dismissing. And that’s not all – narcissistic parents can also use guilt trips as their biggest weapon to manipulate their children and regain control.
Here are some of the things that narcissistic parents say to their children in order to manipulate and subsequently control them in the process.
- “That never happened. You must have imagined it.”
- “Why are you so dramatic?”
- “No one will ever love you with that attitude.”
- “Everyone agrees that you’re probably the worst person to go out with.”
- “I wish I had a daughter who I could depend on.”
- “Get over it.”
- “It’s not that big of a deal.”
- “You have an awful personality and can never do anything right.”
- “You’ll be sorry for it when I’m gone.”
- “Don’t make a scene.”
Dealing With A Narcissistic Parent Is Exhausting: Happy Healing!
Sorry not sorry for the title – but it’s true. Dealing with the things narcissistic mothers say is exhausting and can lead to psychological damage.
But don’t lose hope – this too shall pass, and you will start healing. Of course, it’s going to be a difficult journey before you completely heal. Chances are it will take you years, but guess what? It’s worth it – the point is to break the pattern and instead be a good parent to your child.
Tell us what are your thoughts on dealing with a narcissistic parent. And while sharing your thoughts, feel free to tell us about your experiences and stories in the comments below.
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