Funny Advice for New Parents: 10 pieces of Advice for a Wholesome Parenting Journey
Question: What’s some funny advice for new parents?
Answer: Prepare for a life where you’ll battle poop zombies with diaper guns and baby wipe bullets.
Of course, there are hundreds of parenting books. But none have an instruction manual teaching you to be the best parent.
But we at The Parents’ Magazine believe that victory is what you make of your efforts. And we are big advocates of living your life to the fullest while raising a new one. So, if you also agree that parenting can be fun, then be our guest and read these ten funny pieces of advice for new parents. You can share them with your friends or apply them to your life if you are expecting.
10 Funny Advice for New Parents
Here are 10 funny advice you can give to a new couple who’s expecting. We have kept it fun and also helpful for you to use them throughout your parenting journey.
1. Poop Attack Stories
Projectile poop is real, and it’s coming to get you. Whenever you are thinking of pranking new parents or couples who are expecting, this advice won’t get old. New parents can often get shocked by the fact that the bowel movements of their little ones can propel them to new heights and spread all over.
A funny piece of advice for new parents would be to alert them to poop attacks that can make a mess of their face, hair, and hands. In most cases, this might seem almost impossible. However, no matter how hilarious it may sound, its projectile poop stories are real.
2. Big Mess but Stay Funny
Another funny piece of advice for new parents is to tell them to spend as much money as possible on backup equipment. Start with one set of backups for awkward situations their baby puts them into. Then go ahead and suggest another backup for the backup.
Do you see where this is going? Funny, right? Ask new parents to buy back up outfits for backup outfits and tell them to store all that in backpacks, purses, cars, toilets, bedrooms, under the TV, in the bike’s toolbox, and anywhere else possible. Ask them to keep a backup outfit they can pull out from the weirdest places one can ever imagine.
3. Baby Wipes are your Best Friends
When one of your friends is expecting a baby, you can give them a gift hamper full of baby wipes. Although funny, it’s also a convenient gift idea. But you can scare them by saying that babies have all sorts of dirty behaviors.
They will pee, poop, and get the new parents’ face and hands dirty. That’s why it’s better to carry more baby wipes and never run out.
4. Priceless Advice for New Parents? Travel with Diapers
How many diapers do new parents need to pack up? Well, the more the merrier. Whether going to the local market or visiting a friend’s house, your new parent couple must have as many diapers as possible.
No, one diaper may not suffice, and new parents might need more than just one diaper whenever they go out. They must not make the risky decision of not traveling with diapers.
5. Sleep When the Baby Sleeps
Here’s some funny advice that’s also useful. Having a baby might require you to turn yourself into a baby. Yes. You have to match your sleep cycle with your baby’s sleep cycle. You might have to lose sleep or even become insomniac when the baby is just a few weeks or a month old.
During the first few weeks of their lives, your baby is just building their sleep cycle. So, you never know when they’ll wake up or go to bed. That’s why it’s good advice for new parents to follow their baby’s sleep cycle. Yes, do what your baby’s doing. Sleep when they’re asleep. But don’t do laundry when they are doing laundry.
6. Best Time to Make Parenting Mistakes
‘You know what, you’ve still got time till you’re a full-fledged parent!’ Here’s some funny and logical advice for new parents. Make all the parenting mistakes while you still can. Your kid’s still forgiving when their milk teeth are yet to bloom.
At this age, they aren’t ready to form their feelings that last long, not yet. But, as soon as they do, they’ll observe and note every mistake you make. Use your time wisely until they are ready to make explicit and lasting memories of your mistakes. You can use this memory gap to bury the villain arc in your parental journey.
7. Embrace Godhood: There’s no Surprise Left for Parents
If this is your second or third baby, you’ll have many crazy things going around the house. You might keep screaming. Stop licking the baby, or don’t put your blogger in the food. Don’t eat milk powder with sauce… and the list goes on.
Babies are cute. But, sometimes, they’re just little demons gone out of control. You can’t control their actions and the dangerous things they often do. If you return from home to find your six-year-old painting the baby with peanut butter, don’t be surprised. It’s very much normal.
8. Don’t Take Free Food
The best way to shove an opinion down a new parent’s throat is to leave that negative impression. A funny piece of advice for new parents is to motivate them not to take any help from anyone. They’ve got this. They can cook, clean, do the laundry, exercise, and perform phenomenally at work.
New parents need to understand that it’s ok to ask for help. Sometimes, they can be headstrong and try to do everything independently. However, if they have someone watching over the baby while they take a nap, it’s fine to take a break from being the best for the day. It’s ok to accept food from the neighbor when you’re busy working from home while also changing the baby’s diaper. New parents must ask others for help.
9. Parenting Will Zombify You
Having a baby means no more fun nighttime rides with the boys or girls’ night out. You’ll have to quit drinking for good. You can’t go on dinner dates with your partner. There’s no way you’re fitting in that gown. Most importantly, you’ll have to swallow up all that greed to live the life you wanted to live. Parenting is a sacrifice.
But we beg to differ.
All those sacrificial parenting sermons are utter bull crap if your heart desires to have that glass of wine. If not out in a romantic cafe, a date on the rooftop isn’t all that bad. Ask your wife to wear that dress she loves. Take your bike out if your parents can watch over the baby for an hour. Do what you have always loved – even if it’s for an hour, it’s worth it.
10. What Work-Life Balance! Haha!
Picture this: you left the tap open, and the water from the kitchen sink is overflowing. Now it’s crossing the line and reaching your bedroom through the door. That’s your work and life out of balance.
Keeping your work and life balance means keeping the tap water confined within the kitchen sink. It’s best to leave your work at work and focus on doing a productive 8 hours.
For the dad: So, when you leave for home, you have a hundred percent focus on the list of groceries you need for the week. This also includes the fresh bag of diapers you have to stockpile. Oh, and don’t forget to buy that perfume your wife has been talking about. That’s the recipe for your happy family.
For the mom: If you are a working mom, make the best use of the maternity leave your workplace provides. Also, lean on your partner’s shoulder whenever you can. You are strong. But co-dependence is human nature. Embrace it. Also, outsmart your partner by handing over chores and office work that you can take time off from.
Frequently Asked Questions
Some funny and great advice for a baby girls of a little baby girl includes —
Here’s a reality check: you won’t ever become a super mom or a super dad. Your little one deserves all the care you can give right now. So, it’s best to get help from your partner and other family members while starting your journey as a parent.
Whether it’s a baby girl or a baby boy, raising any child is stressful. So, here are few things you should know about as a parent —
Stress will be a real thing in your life.
Take care of yourself and join communities of parents if you can.
Forgive yourself for the mistakes you make and learn from them.
Don’t forget your personality aside from being a father.
Ask questions to others.
Here are few advice parents should take as early as possible —
Boost the self-esteem of your child.
Catch them when they are doing something good or kind.
Set limits and be very consistent about your discipline.
Make a good role model.
Prioritize communication.
Be flexible and work to adjust your parenting style.
To a Funny Start!
Yes, we agree that most days, as new parents, it’s not easy to handle everything alone. So, Take as much help as you can. The living conditions of most couples with new babies aren’t the same. That’s why you need to improvise on whatever help you can get. And never hesitate to ask for help and accept it when someone offers it.
Did you find any of this advice funny? Share your opinions in the comment section. Thank you for reading.
You May Also Like To Read:
Already have an account?
Sign In
Create your account
User added successfully. Log in