The teenage years are full of all sorts of colors. The first awkward phase of building your self-identity starts during the teenage years. But lesbian teens and LGBTQ+ people have a completely different ride than straight people.
Understanding your gender, Self-identification, sexual orientation, and identity crisis… adolescence is like being hit by one bullet after another. I bet only a few would want to have another go at it.
But, believe it or not, the early teenage years for lesbian teens can be quite difficult. Some of them often feel like the world is moving anti-clockwise. The feeling becomes more prominent when they see their cisgender or straight friends have a clear outline of their romantic relations and sexual orientation. This feeling of being left behind is known to be the “second queer adolescence.”
While that is a different phase altogether, the initial phase of self-acknowledgment is a tough struggle. If they have a supportive and healthy environment around them, they bloom faster, healthier, and prettier. But, sometimes, coming out itself is a lot.
Coming Out As Lesbian Teens
Parents of the LGBTQ teens need to understand that every child is unique, and each of them has different and unique experiences during their teenage years. That includes the lesbian teens.
Part of identifying your self-identity is deployed connected to your gender identity and sexual orientation. Being lesbian or gay brings quite a different experience during the teenage years compared to heterosexual people. If you feel like you are a lesbian teen, you should first know what it feels like to be a lesbian.
What Does It Mean To Be A Lesbian?
Lesbian women are women-loving women. Lesbian teens start to develop sexual, emotional, and spiritual closeness to women. They would prefer women as their partners.
Just because you are a lesbian doesn’t mean you are alone. One among ten teenagers is gay or lesbian. Lesbians work and live in different walks of life, and they are often teachers, doctors, factory workers, lawyers, police officers, movie stars, politicians, ministers, artists, mothers, models, novelists, and more.
Lesbian does not just label you as a lesbian and make you an outcast. Lesbians, too, are normal people, and they can have different ethnicities, colors, and religions. They can be Black, white, Hispanic, Asian, native American, Protestant, Jewish, Catholic, Buddhist, and more. Being lesbian does not make you an outcast or weird. You are more common than you think. Many people like you already exist, and they live in different parts of the world.
How Do Lesbian Teens Know They Are Lesbians?
It is more normal and simple than you may initially think of.
It is normal to have sexual inclination during the adolescent period and start thinking about dating.
While most of your friends would be interested in young men or teenage boys, you will feel the same inclination toward women. Looking at women will turn you on when the same happens to others when they look at men.
When your girlfriends check out men on the streets, you will find them looking at other girls. Also, sometimes different experiences might make you feel – ‘am I really a lesbian?’
It is common to have adults advise you – ‘you are too young to think of these matters.’ But, in reality, you are not. While many find out their sexual orientation while some women take a long time. It depends and varies from person to person. Some women often stay in relationships with both men and women and later decide to be lesbian than straight.
Human sexuality may take time to develop, and it is normal. Lesbian teens are often in confusion about their sexuality. If this is also happening to you, don’t worry, it will be alright and you. It is ok to be unsure so early. You will figure it out.
Are Lesbian Women Normal?
“People hate what they don’t understand” – Martha Kent, Man of Steel.
Lesbian teens often are seen as sinful, perverted, or abnormal. But you should know that you are pretty NORMAL.
You should go by your definition of normal. Don’t let the social prejudices bend and curve who you inherently feel about yourself. Being a lesbian is not associated with being right or wrong. If you are lesbian, it means that you are a lesbian; and that’s it. There is no right or wrong about it. It’s your sexuality, and it is who you are.
According to many scientific experts, your sexual orientation develops at a very early age (possibly during birth). It is perfectly healthy and normal to be a lesbian. You are perfect the way you are. Once you start accepting it you, things will get easier.
How Does Sex Work For Lesbian Teens?
Now that you have accepted yourself as a lesbian teen, you would want to move up to the sex part. But first, ask yourself if you are ready for this. A good first-time experience is mostly about making a good and confident decision.
Yes, you have found someone, and you feel sexually attracted to them. But there is no need to rush things. Make sure that you are comfortable with that person and talk about what you like and what you don’t. Once you feel emotionally and spiritually connected to another woman and feel comfortable, you are ready to take the bid decision.
Now, for the physical part, there is a lot that lesbians can have fun with. Lesbian women can try hugging, kissing, stroking, and stimulating each other’s genitals using their tongues and hands. Inserting fingers into each other’s vaginas also works. Rubbing against each others’ bodies together also stimulates you during lesbian sex. Also, there is a lot you can leave to your imagination.
A Note For Family And Parents
It is not easy for a child to get the courage to come out and tell it in front of the whole world. So when they do, be supportive of them, and make sure they can trust you with their feelings again. It might be surprising for you in the beginning as well, so here are a few tips for the families and the parents.
- When your child comes to you with their identity, be supportive and respond positively. Know that this is something that cannot be altered externally, but they can find out more about themselves as they evolve and explore themselves.
- Love them the way they are, they are the same person. Try to feel it from their point of view. Even if you find it unsettling in the beginning and have disagreements, know that it is your support that they will need the most and seek your validation.
- Take a stand for them if you find someone mistreating them or bullying them for their identity. Teach them and help them deal with it in a better way, and take care of the situation alone.
- Make it clear in front of them and in general that joking about someone’s sexual orientation is not something that can be joked about.
- Look out for them. Check on them to know if they are going through insecurity or anxiety and are in need of mental health support. See if they need some kind of emotional support, and if you feel there is someone else who can help them, then take help.
- Get them access to different kinds of books and show them different movies, including those where gender-diverse people are portrayed in a positive way. Introduce them to LGBTQ celebrities and let them know that there is nothing different about them; it is just their preference.
- Support the way they want to express themselves. Help them accessorize. Have a friendly conversation about how they want to see themselves, how they feel about clothing, what kind of hairstyles they want to keep, and if they want to alter anything about their life at all.
- If you feel you don’t know enough about the matter, reach out for support and education about the matter.
Meet Your Partner
Lesbians are less in number. But that should not make finding a partner harder. Once you start manifesting yourself, you should start looking for women who might be interested in you. Lesbian teens can find others like you in your college campuses or universities. There are many active groups and organizations connecting people with queer sexuality. Thanks to the internet, you can meet many people like you online as well.
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