Am I Ready For A Baby? Ask Yourself These Questions And Plan Accordingly
It might happen that as a kid, you liked playing house or babysitting a few of these little humans to get some extra money in your teenage years. But if you are thinking of having a baby, then think again. Ask yourself, “Am I ready for a baby?” Because this is a big decision.
Stephanie Purdom, LISW-S and a social worker in Ohio, says, “Deciding to have a baby is a huge decision. A lot of people feel very decisive one way or the other, but it’s completely normal to be confused or ambivalent about starting a family.”
Planning for a baby is a life-changing decision, and it requires lots of thought. So before you jump to make a decision, try to find the answers to a few questions, and you will if you are prepared to become a parent.
Ask Yourself, “Am I Ready For A Baby?”
Thinking about what your life would look like with the addition of another little human? Here are a few crucial questions or things to consider before you get the answer to “am I ready for a baby.” Ask yourself these questions, and you will get the answer.
1. “What Are My Life Goals?”
This is a pretty big question, so break it down into those things that mean the most to you as a whole. Purdom says, “Focus on your values, goals and the desire for how your life will look. No one knows this but you.” Think if you are a career-driven person or a person filled with wanderlust and would like to go away every few months. Then think if the baby would fit into your plans and in your life.
Your parents must be putting a lot of pressure on you to get them their grandkids and are ready to provide a lot of childcare and help you follow your dream career. Or you might raise a child and put the seed of wanderlust in them since childhood. But the decision is up to you. You have to live a complete and prosperous life even without having a child.
2. How Do You Plan To Get Pregnant?
Well, you might think of it as an obvious question. But it is not always as straightforward as you think it to be. If you and your partner are ready, do you plan to try immediately, or do you want to go with the flow? If you are laid-back about it, then it could take some time. Soma parents are required to explore IVF or in vitro fertilization or some other fertility treatments, like adoption or surrogacy. To go through all of this you would need time, money as well as emotional strength.
3. What Is the State Of My Mental Health?
It is really overwhelming to welcome a new person into your life, even if you have a healthy outlook emotionally and have no issues in the pre-baby lifestyle. Bethany Cook, HSP, PsyD, MT-BC, and a clinical psychologist, said, “Tracking the eating, sleeping and pooping schedule of another human while trying to create a new normal for parents is very hard and often lands on Mom’s lap. Some of this is nature (especially if you’re breastfeeding), and some of it comes from religious and social ideas around parenting.”
Evaluating how to deal with these life changes, changes in the daily routine, and anxiety is important when you are planning a baby. If you are already seeing a therapist or under medication, then consult with the doctor and see if the arrival of the baby will affect your mental health in any other way.
4. Are My Partner And I Both Healthy?
Your medical history, your health, and your partner’s lifestyle as well. Well, genetics are unpredictable. But science has come a long way and sometimes determines the chances of passing those traits on.
There are several tests that you can go through, like the genetic screening tests, to check the chances of passing down genetic disorders like cystic fibrosis, down syndrome, and sickle cell anemia.
Even if you are thinking of adopting a child, check your physical health to figure out your health would help you to go through it.
5. Are Your Financially Ready?
You do not have to be rich to have a baby. But having some financial security always helps. Raising children is expensive. They require a lot of stuff. Then you have to think of the institution where you want to send them for their education. Then there are camps, extracurricular activities, household upgrades, birthday parties, and a lot more.
6. Think of Parenting & Sharing Responsibilities
Think again that you are looking for the answer to “Am i ready to have a baby?” because this is something that is going to affect other people as well. Even if you are choosing to be a single parent, it will not just be you and the baby.
Getting support from other people is important, so think it through who is going to help you through this, your friends, your family, or if there is some other platonic co-parent.
7. How Will My Career Be Affected?
In the US, there is a serious lack of parental leave. And getting paid leave is even more uncommon. Investigate the paternity and maternity leave options in your company. You must have plans to go back to work after you have the baby. But your plans can change as well. Well, think about how that can affect your career and if you are going to be okay with a change in your career. Think of the different scenarios, but keep an open mind always.
8. Are You Ready to Give Up Some Freedoms?
Babies need a lot of attention. This means you might have to give up on your favorite pastime or your next solo travel plan, at least temporarily. Even sleeping peacefully at night can take a back seat. You have to sacrifice a lot.
But there is good news as well. You do not have to deal with these changes your whole life. But a baby would take a lot of your bandwidth. So, set some realistic expectations for how your life is going to be after you have the baby.
It’s Not Your Decision Alone
Am I ready to have a baby? Well, is the decision yours and yours alone? I guess not. It’s a decision that’s going to change your life ( both personal and professional), and the life of your partner.
Even if you are confident about having a baby, know that it’s not your decision alone. Ask your partner about how they feel about this decision. Are they ready to compromise on their own personal life?
Are they ok with the decisions and have the financial strength to raise a family? There are too many things to consider if you plan to have a baby with others.
Here’s a tough conversation to have with your partner before planning a baby:
Are They Ready for an Added Responsibility?
It’s important to know where you are in life in terms of your professional growth and if you are ready to start a family. The same goes for your partner. A good question to ask them at this point would be, “are you ready to handle the responsibility of another person?”
Financial Responsibilities
Additional responsibilities aren’t the only thing that add up once you have a baby. You need extra money to raise a family that’s happy, alive, and healthy. That’s where the financial condition comes in. whether for buying a house or planning a trip for the family, you always need a budget ready. Is your partner comfortable with those added expenses?
Maternity Leave
This decision also includes you having to deal with parenting responsibilities. If you are a working woman, you’ll have to return to work after your maternity period is over. What about the child’s responsibility at that point in life? How will your partner feel about your decision to return to work after maternity leave is over? It’s an important discussion to have early on.
So, finally, what is the answer?
If you think that you are ready to be a parent, you have to learn to navigate the territory. Purdom says, “Parenting is hard. But it can also be an incredibly rewarding and fulfilling experience.” Think carefully if you are ready for a baby or if you still need some time. Do not take the decision lightly. Think through your life goals and then plan to start a daily.
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