How’s Life For A Child of Gay Parents? Debunking Misconceptions About Gay Parenting
Misconceptions about gay parenting are nothing new. Most importantly, how it affects a child’s optimal psychological development is also a part of the misconception that keeps extending.
Children of gay parents have always been under criticism and questions for generations.
But questioning and criticizing never stopped gay parents from adopting and raising their children.
Myth 1: Gay Couples Are Not Fit To Be Parents
Parenting is a skill that is learned, exercised, and improved over time. It is not something biological passed down through genes. A popular myth ( typically induced by public fear of homosexuality) is that gay couples are unfit for parenting. But I hate to break it to you, but it is a myth.
There are millions of gay couples worldwide who have children through assisted reproduction, adoption, or from their previous heterosexual relations.
During the 1960s, many states in the US had an anti-gay judicial response to such parents, and some were stripped of their rights to parents.
However, it became better by the end of the 1970s when a more individualistic approach was taken to evaluate parents.
However, the fact is one’s parenting skills have nothing to do with their sexual orientation. There is no hardcore evidence suggesting that a child of gay parents does not get proper parenting.
Myth 2: Gay Men Molest Children At A Higher Rate
This is getting exciting, isn’t it?
Another myth about gay parents is the one you see in the above headline.
Personalities such as Paul Cameron ( Discredited psychologist) have frequently contributed to the spreading of such myths.
There are many anti-gay documents and works that anti-gay organizations follow, and according to them, child molestation under gay parents ( gay men ) is at a higher rate compared to that among heterosexual couples.
There is no evidence as such claiming that gay men molest children at a higher rate. In fact, the American Psychological Association confirms that there is no higher likelihood for the gay men to molest children. Research from A. Nicholas Groth, a famous researcher in the field of sexual abuse of children, shows no such evidence.
So, if something got you imagining gay men waiting outside schools to snatch kids, then please check your facts.
Myth 3: LGBTQ People Dont Live Long Enough
Another misconception regarding the child of gay parents is – that LGBT people don’t live a long life and don’t have better physical and mental health.
This is nothing but a desperate attempt to promote heterosexuality as the dominant norm. The argument goes something like this –
“Gay parents don’t have a healthy life themselves; they cannot be allowed to parent or take a child into custody.”
But in reality, the life expectancy of LGBTQ people also has nothing to do with their sexual orientation. There is no scientific reason to explain why gay people die earlier compared to heterosexual people.
Myth 4: Children Need A Mother And A Father
There is no documents or evidence suggesting that a child of gay parents has a compromised level of psychological development due to same-sex parents parenting them. Children don’t necessarily need parents of different sexes to be raised, nourished, and developed healthily.
The world has moved beyond the definition of an ideal home with a mother and a father and conventionally ideal parenting. Children just need parents, be it a heterosexual couple or a homosexual one.
Indeed single parenting can make a lot of difference in the lives of a child. As long as both parents balance out all the physical and emotional requirements of a child, they are fit to parent. Also, the parent is a gender-neutral term. It applies to both men and women.
There are many arguments based on the fact that a child is missing out on something in life if they are raised by a same-sex couple.
Many argue that a child needs a father figure and a caring mother so that they are not missing out on the care of an opposite gender.
However, many people with same-sex parents have claimed that they felt no difference as such while growing up.
Myth 5: A Child Of Gay Parents Develop Behavioral Problems
Another myth that has been circulating for generations is that children of same-sex couples develop many behavioral issues. But, there is little to no truth behind this misconception.
On the contrary, different research-based evidence suggests that children of the same sex have no social problems or have very few rule-breaking behaviors. They also possess very less aggressive behaviors compared to opposite-sex parents.
Myth 6: Children Of Same-Sex Parents Are Bullied More Often
Throughout generations, more and more misconceptions about gay couples have made people come up with stupid ideas. Similarly, there is no truth behind the one I am addressing here. There is no evidence of a child of gay parents being bullied more than a child of an opposite-sex couple.
Children get bullied for different stupid reasons. However, even if children with gay parents get bullied for having such parents, they are not at fault.
But there is something entirely different, which is gay bullying. Gay people are bullied for their sexual orientation. Many studies have shown that almost 90% of LGBT children have been bullied or have faced harassment. But, there is no similar report regarding the bullying of children with same-sex parents.
Myth 7:Same Sex Parents Raise Their Children To Be A Part Of LGBTQ+
One’s sexual orientation is an inherent trait, and it cannot be influenced. For example, a straight couple can have a queer or LGBTQ child who can never change their sexual orientation due to parental influence. Similarly, the opposite is also not possible. LGBT parents cannot externally influence their children to be a part of the LGBT or have a gay sexual identity.
Parental Experience of Gay Parents
The myths we debunked are a reality millions of gay parents are facing. Some common difficult parental experiences of gay parents include the following –
Social isolation
Gay parents are afraid to come out with their family structure. It’s the social stigma and the fear of judgment keeping them locked inside their world. They are afraid to come out with their family structures, which may lead to anxiety and other negative feelings.
Legal Hurdles
They are facing an ample amount of legal challenges and hurdles. They find it hard to adopt and gain parental rights and legal recognition as parents. Such struggles can lead to stress and enough trauma.
Stigma & Mental Health
Gay parents experience severe mental health issues instilled in them by the environment surrounding them. It has an immense impact on their overall wellbeing.
Their Parental Competency Under Question
It’s difficult to keep their confidence up as parents, and their parental competency is constantly being questioned. The competency of a parent has no relation to their sexual orientation. But, the stigma has taken its effect a long time ago.
Bottom Line
There have been countless trials to negate the existence of LGBTQ parents. Many myths were passed down throughout generations, creating the misconceptions that today’s generation faces. In this article, I have listed some of those misconceptions so that you have a clear idea of how life is actually for a child with gay parents.
I hope that this article was helpful. However, if you need any further help with similar queries, reach out to us through the comment section. We will get back to you as soon as possible.
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