Understanding Depleted Mother Syndrome: Causes, Signs, and How to Cope
You have a baby, and now you feel like you are depleted of all your energies. You feel overwhelmed by little things that involve being a mother. It seems as if there’s a huge gap between your pre-motherhood life and your current life as a mother.
This is the sign of depleted mother syndrome or mommy burnout
If you also suffer from this, it’s time to address what’s causing it.
This article explores the reasons, symptoms, and ways to cope with DMS. So, read on.
What Is Depleted Mother Syndrome?
DMS, or Depleted Mother Syndrome, refers to physical and mental exhaustion coming from the responsibility of being a mother.
A mother with this syndrome immediately starts to experience extreme levels of pressure and exhaustion that depletes their energy.
It happens when parenting takes too much out of them and demands more from them than their resourcefulness can provide.
In simple terms, we can call it mom burnout. With such burnout, women feel overstimulated, drained, or listless. This condition is often connected to depression, attention deficiency, abuse, mental health disorders, or parental burnout.
However, it’s critical to know that mom burnout is quite different from other emotional and mental exhaustion someone is facing. After the COVID-19 pandemic hit the world, moms started facing what you may call pandemic distress or pandemic burnout. Techno-distress is another reason why you might need
Common Causes of Depleted Mother Syndrome
Depleted mother syndrome is a result of having more to do as a mother and having more things on their plate than they can handle. Most importantly, in the middle of their struggle to deal with a busy life, they hardly have time for themselves.
The result?
A mother’s emotional response becomes heightened due to emotional, physical, and mental exhaustion. The mother’s internal and external triggers start to get easily set.
Off due to these reasons
Now, it’s important to note that depleted mother syndrome isn’t limited to only parents with little children. This can happen to mothers of any age dealing with children of any age.
Increased Demands Causing Depleted Mother Syndrome
- Mothers have to juggle more tasks and work long shifts. They hardly get enough sleep compared to the level of work they are liable to do.
- No free time. Mothers hardly have time free for themselves. There’s almost no sick day, mental health day, weekend, or vacation for mothers.
- While getting no breaks, mothers nowadays must fulfill different roles. The role of mother itself is a demanding one and requires one to be a playmate, counselor, cook, cleaner, bookkeeper, shopper, extended family liaison, partner, lover, and more.
- As per research, mothers are prone to taking parenting roles more seriously than fathers.
- While attending to many tasks assigned to their motherhood, many women are working full-time jobs. So, there’s hardly enough time for themselves within 24 hours.
- Mothers who are recovering from their pregnancy, breastfeeding, and weaning can also experience their energy being depleted.
- Also, the change in their physical appearance can deplete their energy little by little.
- After becoming parents, mothers find it hard to maintain their professional status.
Decreased Resources
- Isolation is a major issue in the urban life we are living right now. Many of us live isolated from our families and friends. Sometimes, we are also very less connected to our family. This causes a huge downside in a mother’s life.
- Parenting makes couple relationships more distant day after day. Statistics suggest that couples with children have eight times more fights than couples that have children.
- Mothers have very few fun activities in their lives to recharge themselves and their spirits. This reduces the mental and spiritual energy they must hold to people who need them.
- Not following a healthy diet is also another aspect of mothers running out of their resources. They often have a rushed diet and eat whatever they have available.
- Mothers have to go through sleep deprivation and sleep disturbances. This can have a long-lasting detrimental effect on their mental and physical health. It can weaken their mental pressure. This can have a long-lasting and detrimental effect on the mother’s life.
Signs and Symptoms of Depleted Mother Syndrome
So, what do you experience when suffering from depleted mother syndrome? Here are some examples –
Guilt
The major signs and symptoms of sleep deprivation include guilt. It’s very common for mothers with DMS to think that they aren’t contributing 100% to their family. This happens when they think that they are stretched too thin.
Chronic Fatigues
No matter the amount of sleep you take it still feels like it’s not enough. When you are going through DMS or depleted mother syndrome, you’ll always be at a loss for enough sleep. Chronic fatigue and tiredness are some of the common reasons why you might be feeling this way.
Body Aches & Headaches
When exhaustion reaches that state where you cannot do anything, and your body feels like it’s aching, it can be due to your energy depleting constantly.
Changes in Your Appetite
Some mothers overeat to cope with more stress. This change in appetite causes them to gain weight, which can cause several other physical problems.
Losing Immunity Power
Mothers with depleted mother symptoms tend to lose their immunity power. Sometimes, you’ll notice that you are often getting sick. This can happen when your body is not able to fight off the illness and negativity you are dealing with.
Overwhelmedness
Mental load due to depleted energy can cause a mother to lose control over their emotions. Sometimes, they start to get overwhelmed by very little things.
It’s pretty easy to snap at the partner without completely knowing why it’s happening and why it’s not working out.
Emotional Detachment
Sometimes, you’ll feel numb emotionally or feel disconnected from your partner, children, and even yourself. Emotional detachment is not just limited to the mental state of an individual but also about how they are making others feel.
The Impact of Depleted Mother Syndrome
Parental burnout has an overarching effect on mothers, children, families, and society. It’s a problem that has a ripple effect shaping what we think of relationships. Here’s how depleting mother syndrome affects the family and society –
On Mother
Due to parental burnout, mothers have to go through depression, stress, and anxiety. It causes a feeling of isolation, making them feel distant from their family. Such mothers suffer from forgetfulness, brain fog, confusion, and other different mental turbulences.
On Families
In addition, their family relationships are also hurt. Sometimes, it can lead to child neglect and abuse, which might have severe consequences for the entire family. Such parents also find it difficult to cope with their current conditions and submit to drugs, suicide attempts, and addictive behaviors.
On Society
The burnout or stress that starts from a personal level can stretch up to family and societal levels as well. Such parents are prone to neglect their children and even abuse them at some point. When parenting becomes toxic, it’s common for the child to run off the track. These children are often raised in difficult situations, and their upbringing doesn’t support healthy personal development.
How To Cope With Mommy Burnout?
Self-compassion is the answer. When you have a huge level of mommy burnout, you’ll need to first be careful and forgive yourself. It’s difficult being a mother and also being the best partner, employee, gardener, or artist.
Here are some self-care practices that may help –
1. Self-Care Practices
Practice self-care. It’s the best thing to do. If you are dealing with parental burnout, it’s best to start giving yourself some time. Take 15 minutes of your daily time and start to meditate or do some workout. You can also try to follow your passion or hobby.
2. Seeking Support
If you haven’t been asking your partner or someone around for help, then it’s time you did so. Parental burnout isn’t easy to deal with. You’ll need all the support you can get from your partners. Ask your partner to do some of the household chores. Sometimes, you can even ask your friend over to lend you some hands.
3. Setting Realistic Expectations
You can’t do everything on your own, and you also can’t achieve everything all at once. That’s why it’s important to set realistic family expectations. Know how many of the expectations you have for your family are too much.
4. Reclaiming Personal Identity
When you feel that you are going through parental burnout, it can cause a loss of personal identity. You start losing a piece of yourself little by little. This is the time you must reclaim who you are and what makes you different from others. You can do it by resuming your hobby, getting yourself the things you’ve longed for, and doing things that bring fulfillment.
5. Professional Help
It can be incredibly healing to talk to someone about your feelings. You need to heal, and there’s no better solution than to seek professional support. Professionals in this domain are skilled in asking you the right questions, giving you the peace of mind you were looking for.
Conclusion
Parental burnout lies on a continuum between depression and stress. When you are seeing the signs of developing chronic parental stress, you should start seeking help as soon as possible. You must start to face it without any guilt when you are low on your resources.
Hopefully, this article was able to help. If you have similar questions, let us know through the comment sections below. Thank you for reading.
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