Fearlessly Talk To Your Child About Private Parts: Here’s How!
Little Goku was shocked. He exclaimed, “ Bulma, your balls are gone.”
I don’t remember if those were the exact words or something else, but Goku said something very similar in Dragon Ball. I was watching Dragon Ball with my son, and he asked me – “why do we call our private parts “balls” and “Weiner”?”
Also, I was startled but not shocked since my son is inquisitive, and to ask questions like that at his age was pretty normal.
It is around six to nine years of age when children start to become curious about their private parts and look for suitable vocabulary so as not to hold embarrassing conversations.
Whether at daycare or in school, it is normal for children to explore or question their private parts. They are curious about the differences between them and their opposite genders.
So, when it comes down to such questions or conversations, parents must have a normal conversation about children’s questions regarding their private parts. This article has helpful tips for parents to hold such conversations without making them uncomfortable and weird.
Mini Conversations & Correct Terminology
Children are not done having one answer. They keep asking. When it comes to their private parts, children usually have more than one question; and these questions, one after another. When they ask such questions, instead of avoiding them, keep talking and answer comfortably.
You have to keep passing on information bit by bit, giving children the idea that they are doing nothing wrong by asking questions. The human body parts are nothing secret, and it is not shameful to learn about them. It is better to stop using words like ‘coochie,’ ‘Weiner,’ and ‘hoo-ha’. It is important to teach children the proper names of their private parts. The correct term for male genitals is penis and female genitals.
Understanding Nudity
It is common for children to explore their private parts and drag along their siblings in the process. For example, you enter the kid’s room and catch them butt-naked, talking to the sibling, and touching their genitals.
No, you should not freak out. Instead, direct them to get dressed immediately. Now, call them and get them engaged in something like eating or drinking.
As a parent, you should not react in a way as to shame their activity. Children should know that it is normal for them to know about their private parts and explore them. Moreover, they should know that these parts are “PRIVATE.”
Teaching Consent
Starting from the age of 18 months till five years, parents should dedicatedly teach consent to their children. Children should learn that their private parts are private, and we should always ask for someone else’s consent.
They might want to touch and explore the genitals of their siblings or other children at daycare. This is when their knowledge about consent becomes very important.
Also, if they feel uncomfortable about someone asking them to check their private parts, they should be able to say no.
The knowledge of consent and boundaries is very crucial for children to learn, and it is essential to their safety.
Self Care
As you start using the correct terms for the private parts in front of your children, they will find it more comfortable to talk about them. This also helps in developing their self-care skills.
Talk about the private parts while you help your toddler bathe or help with other self-care processes. It encourage children to be frank about self-care.
While changing your child’s diaper, you can tell them things like, “it is important to change your diapers and clean your vagina/penis; it is part of good hygiene behaviors.”
Knowing The Safe Adults
While talking about the private parts is important, children should only initiate or engage in such conversations with safe adults. It is possible for them to feel unsafe about such communication with people other than their parents.
It is also very important for parents to teach children to talk to their parents if someone touches their private parts or asks them to touch theirs. The only safe adults are parents and doctors ( when parents are present). Usually, safe adults are parents or doctors. However, if the children are getting care away from home, exceptions can be made for specific reasons.
Appropriate Vs Inappropriate Touching
One of the key purposes of knowing a safe adult is to understand which touch is appropriate and which is not. Having their friends and other elders high-five, doing hand-shakes, or giving hugs are among the normal and appropriate touches.
However, they should also understand that elders trying to touch their private parts is not alright. According to studies, 1 out of 4 girls experiences sexual abuse during their childhood. 1 among 13 boys also experiences sexual abuse during their childhood.
The inappropriate touches usually make children feel hurt, scared, or disgusted. When unsafe adults are trying to do something similar, they should be able to come and talk to their parents about them.
Conclusion
Developing curiosity about genitals or private parts is part of the process of children’s sexual development. It is completely normal for a child’s development. The human body is not something to be ashamed of.
But when they want to learn about their private parts, as parents, you should suggest methods other than exploring other’s bodies. You can use a picture book and explain the body parts using the terms that actually identify them.
Giving them a clean and clear idea will help them feel comfortable to express if they feel any issues with them. I hope you have found the help you were looking for. However, if you have any additional questions, please reach out to us in the comment section. We will reach out to you shortly.
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