“I Always Wanted To Be A Dad”: So I Became A Surrogate Father

As a young single man, straight or gay, it’s tough to decide whether you want kids or not. You might think making the decision is tough, but becoming a parent is even more challenging. 

Even though being a parent can be rewarding and being responsible for life is heartwarming. But for single men, the process can be very overwhelming. 

There comes a time when every option for having your own baby seems to be closing. That is when surrogacy seems like the best option for single men, no matter whether straight or gay. 

Deciding on surrogacy is a great first step for you. Now, adding that particular little member to your family will take a lot of research and hard work. Deciding to become a surrogate father is a big decision. 

What Do You Mean By Surrogacy?

Surrogacy is a legal arrangement for a woman who is willing to carry a child till full term for another person or people. Those people will become the parents of the newborn child and not the woman carrying the child. 

There are many different scenarios whereby people agree to a surrogacy arrangement.  Surrogate parents are people who go for a surrogacy arrangement when the chances of pregnancy are low. Or when pregnancy for the mother is risky. 

Nowadays, surrogacy for single men and women is becoming very popular, and even surrogacy for gay couples is quite in demand. 

How Does The Surrogate Process Work? 

There are ideally two different ways to go about the surrogacy process: the Traditional way and the Gestational way.  The gestational process is much more popular and common in terms of simplicity and less complexity.

Through the Gestational process, the embryo is created using  IVF technology, which is then implanted inside the surrogate mother. In the case of an intended single father, the sperm of the father will be mixed with a donor’s eggs. 

Single men prefer to provide their own sperm so that the newborn baby has some of his qualities. But men who are infertile have to use sperm donors for the process. 

But before we talk about the IVF process, you have to make a few important decisions beforehand. Such as the cost of surrogacy, the few legalities, and also you need to choose the best agency for you among many. 

The cost of surrogacy is considerably high; it can be over $100,000 in certain high-end agencies. Then considering the prices, you have to do deep research on the best surrogacy agencies around you that suits your needs.

How is Traditional Surrogacy Different from Gestational Surrogacy?

Traditional surrogacy requires the genetic involvement of the carrier. The carrier themselves donate their eggs for the pregnancy. Plus, they are also related to the fetus. 

Eventually, they must surrender the parental right to the intended parent (the surrogate father). However, this type of surrogacy is illegal in India. 

The Pros And Cons Of Surrogacy For A Single Man

There are both pros and cons of surrogacy for single men, such as –

Pros:

The advantages of opting for surrogacy as a single man are as follows:

1. No need to depend on another parent: 

Men don’t have to depend on another parent to conceive a child. One of the biggest reasons why single men choose surrogacy is because they are the one who donates the sperm, which makes the child biologically theirs. 

And since the surrogate mother has no biological ties with the child, the father has full legal custody of his child. Single men can fulfill their dream of becoming a parent without depending on others. 

2. Shorter Waiting Period: 

Another reason why surrogacy is the right way to go for intended single fathers is that the waiting period for surrogacy is relatively short, unlike in adoption, where you have to wait for a long time before someone chooses you, which is more challenging for single men.

3. Beautiful Family Relationship: 

Both families and surrogates can also create a meaningful relationship and bond beyond traditional family culture. 

Cons:

The disadvantages of opting for surrogacy as a single man are as follows:

1. Expensive Process: 

Surrogacy is a process used mainly by celebrities because it is expensive, which means it is not a very mainstream concept. But since it is slowly becoming more and more popular, people are becoming aware of it. 

2. Financial Risk: 

While there are a lot of pros to single men choosing surrogacy, the cons are also there. The biggest con is the cost of surrogacy, which might exceed your overall budget. And taking out hefty loans is a lot for single men. 

3. Stigma & Controversies: 

There are added controversies regarding single men becoming fathers, which need to be normalized. As a single man, you might find it challenging to find the best agency that suits your needs. And also a surrogate mother who would agree to carry your child. 

Controversies Surrounding Single Dads

There are a lot of old fashioned people who think single men and gay couples going for surrogacy is unnatural and selfish. They even argue that it is harmful and unfounded for them to pursue surrogacy. 

But these controversies and superstitious arguments are always going to be the same. You have to choose to avoid all this negativity and look at the positive side of things and for the new one to arrive in your family.

Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)!

Now that you know the process of becoming a surrogate father if you have any more questions, here are a few asked by others. 

Wrapping Up!

Bringing a child into this world who is yours is a feeling no one can express in words. The feeling of fatherhood is something you need to experience to express. And through surrogacy, you can have that genetic connection that you are moving your bloodline ahead. 

And surely it is going to be hard; you have to turn a deaf ear to all those criticisms regarding surrogate fathers. There will always be someone criticizing everything you do; if you listen to them, you are depriving yourself of happiness. 

Read Also:

• How To Be A Good Father?
• How To Handle Your Child’s Temper Tantrum?
• Is Spanking An Effective Way To Discipline Your Child?