What is a Rainbow Baby? Welcoming Another After Infant Loss
What is a rainbow baby?
Mothers who suffered infant loss once in their lives usually get pregnant again.
Childbirth after an infant loss is a good thing happening to a couple – that’s why the term rainbow baby justifies this new feeling.
In this blog post, we discussed what rainbow babies are and how to prepare to welcome one into your life.
What is a Rainbow Baby?
A rainbow baby is literally a blessing to a couple. When a couple loses a baby due to stillbirth, miscarriage, infant loss, or neonatal death, they are shaken emotionally.
A rainbow baby is a baby that’s born after the previous child dies due to those reasons. The birth of this new baby helps the parents heal mentally. Although there are emotions of happiness and excitement involved in such birth, they also accompany feelings of guilt and grief.
Why the term Rainbow Baby?
The rainbow metaphor is used to symbolize the ray of hope the new child brings into the lives of the devastated parents. It resembles the idea of a rainbow appearing in the sky after a terrible day of storm clouds and rain.
The rainbow breaks the darkness of the turbulent times during rain. People on the internet started using the term for children born after the death of a previous one in recent years. Blogs, social media, and other mediums have made this term famous.
Such parents see these babies as a ray of hope and joy and often have mixed emotions. This baby is literally a miracle that happened to a devastated couple who lost their previous child.
But why the mixed emotions? How is it connected to grief?
Well, a rainbow baby can create conflicting emotions. Although happy, a couple with a rainbow baby would often feel guilty celebrating the life of a healthy baby over the one that died.
Some parents also become extra careful about the newborn, especially if it’s a rainbow baby.
So, how many people have a rainbow baby? Well, there’s no proper count on paper since most miscarriages aren’t reported, and celebrating a rainbow baby became quite popular thanks to a few online trends.
Celebrating Rainbow Baby Day
The trend started back in 2018. It started with a woman who had long suffered infertility and pregnancy loss. She came up with the term after having her rainbow babies.
But the origin dates to 2008. The term appeared in a story collected in the book by Christie Brooks. The book was named “Our Heartbreaking Choices: Forty-Six Women Share Their Stories of Interrupting a Much-Wanted Pregnancy.“
As women started to talk about the term, it became solidified and popular. It spread on social media back in 2018. Now, there’s a date on the calendar (August 22) for parents to honor the dead children and celebrate their living siblings.
Rainbow Babies & Postpartum Depression
Rainbow babies do bring lots of happiness and joy. But women who just lost their child due to miscarriage can have mixed emotions about a rainbow baby. It’s usually a mixed feeling of excitement, elation, relief, etc.
Before you are ready to celebrate your baby’s arrival, it’s important to understand where you are emotionally. Many women experience postpartum depression or anxiety after losing a child to miscarriage.
It’s ok to seek help from mental health counselors or professionals who offer similar services. It might seem impossible to ever fully recover yourself emotionally from the pain that loss caused.
But there are different ways to heal yourself. You can join support groups for moms who suffered infant loss, build connections, share your story, and seek help from mental health professionals.
Content gap: How you should deal with a Miscarriage?
Preparing for another baby after a miscarriage!
Grieving: Getting Over the Loss of a Child by Miscarriage
Grieving is a process, and it takes time to get over the loss of a baby due to a miscarriage. While you may have had your time for a year or so, the thought of a rainbow baby can also make you recall your dead child.
As you give yourself the time to recuperate, follow these helpful methods to help yourself get through the grieving process –
Create a Memory
Getting over your loss doesn’t mean forgetting the baby you lost. You can create memories and cherish their life through those memories. Many parents make a garden or have a box of memories to honor their deceased baby. In fact, some hospitals create a handprint and take pictures of your baby for keepsakes. It also helps to create memories through religious acts that fit your beliefs.
Talking Helps a Lot
Talk to your partner, friends, family, and people who have been with you during the loss. Instead of bottling your grief inside, it helps to talk to your peers and friends about your loss.
You can also talk to people who have faced similar losses. There are many support groups for parents who have suffered infant loss. Connecting with others with similar experiences gives you the strength to withstand this pain.
Share With Your Partner
The loss damages your partner the same way it damages you. So, talking to them would not only strengthen your heart but also help you strengthen your bond with them – which is something you need the most at such a moment.
Discuss with them what you worry about and what you wish to have happened. It’s important to mutually share your grief with your partner to get through such a situation.
Celebrate Rainbow Baby Day
On 22nd August, parents around the world celebrate Rainbow Baby Day. It’s the day to commemorate their experience. It’s the day to share your story through social media, with friends, and through support groups. You can also participate in others’ stories.
You’ll learn more about a rainbow baby and how most parents commemorate the day and their lost child.
Preparing for a Rainbow Baby
Pregnancy itself creates an emotional and hormonal whirlwind in a woman’s body. Infant loss and ushering in a rainbow baby add a difficult twist to those changing emotions.
It puts your body and your mind through massive changes. So, when you get pregnant again, it will seem a lot more difficult to prepare for the new baby. You can keep the entire thing to yourself until you see a new baby. If you don’t want to get overwhelmed with celebrations, that’s fine.
But, to ensure a safe delivery, prepare yourself. Follow the instructions below to stay on the safer side –
Vitamins
Your body and rainbow baby needs vitamins and the right amount of nutrition to nurture both the mother and the baby throughout pregnancy. Make sure you are eating food that contains enough vitamins.
Regular Check-Ups
It’s important to track the progress of your pregnancy on a weekly basis. Make sure not to miss your appointment with the healthcare provider and follow through with regular checkups.
Maintain Healthy Weight
For many women, a rainbow baby comes thanks to rigorous fertility treatment. Moms can gain weight during the process. So, it’s important to know a healthy weight for your body during pregnancy. You must consult with your doctor to help you maintain your weight so that you don’t gain or lose weight.
You can try to stay active during this phase to keep yourself physically and mentally well.
Keep a Positive Mind
Moms preparing for a rainbow baby have already had one or more childbirths. So, it’s not as difficult for new moms to prepare for a rainbow baby. However, it’s the mind that needs the preparation now.
You already had your share of grief, and you have given yourself the time to mourn. Now, it’s time for you to think positively about the soon-to-be-born rainbow baby. A rainbow baby is not a replacement for your loss. But it’s a new experience and chapter in your life that will give you a newer journey.
Welcoming your Rainbow Baby
It’s common for couples to announce the news about a rainbow baby and be over the moon about it. But it’s common for some people to come up with comments that are difficult to face upfront. Since they weren’t there during your loss, they don’t understand the happiness that a rainbow baby brings.
It’s better to start slowing down and talk to your closest family members and friends first about it. Many couples try painting a rainbow on a baby bump to share the news. If you have older children, you can take a family photo and add a rainbow to the photo to share on social media.
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