Child's Temper

How To Handle Your Child’s Temper Tantrum? (According to Experts)

There is a first time for everything. Parenting is one example.

When you want to get better at it, you read books and take advice from friends and parents before you.

But, the outcome? You are still in the blue. 

It happens…Especially when dealing with a child’s temper tantrum.

It’s one of many problems parents face. And it’s not something that should leave a question mark on your parenting, or should it? 

Is it a fault on your part as a parent causing the child to throw a temper tantrum? Or is it something natural?

Let’s cut down on the nervousness and cool down. We’ll get to the root of the problem here.

Through this written piece, I have helped you understand the nature of a child’s temper tantrum and when you need to be concerned. 

Let me start with what this temper tantrum is. 

What Is a Child Temper Tantrum?

Temper tantrums are typical behaviors of children aged between 1 to 4. It is an unexplained and sudden outburst of frustration and anger generated mainly by the unfulfillment of any needs or desires. Younger children are often unable to express these feelings, and they throw tantrums both verbally and physically.  

Their behavior in such conditions grows into more of a disruptive nature. They grow more violent and often misbehave. The reason for such outbursts of anger and emotion is that they can’t express in words what they need. 

A child temper tantrum is typical among children aged between one to three. Usually, there is nothing to worry about a child’s temper tantrums. These tantrums last for about 15 to 20 minutes. It is entirely normal, and there is nothing to worry about. 

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What’s Not a Temper Tantrum?

Your child might seek attention from time to time. As a parent, don’t make the mistake of treating it as a temper tantrum. This is not a temper tantrum. They want to make sure that their parents are there for them. 

Your love and attention can calm them down. But some tantrums go beyond normal tantrums. 

Normal tantrums are when your child throws a pillow toy or cries. But, if it exceeds that limit and results in hurting themselves or others, biting others, breaking things, kicking, or hitting, it can be a disorder.

Why Do Children Have Temper Tantrums?

 Children Have Temper Tantrums

Between the age of 1 to 3, your child may show signs of temper tantrums like kicking, crying, whining, screaming, hitting, etc. These symptoms are common in boys and girls. 

These tantrums, according to experts on children’s mental health, are normal expressions. There are several common reasons for such behaviors. For instance –

  • They may feel hungry.
  • Tiredness is also another common reason.
  • They can have a meltdown due to feeling uncomfortable. 
  • Young children don’t know how to deal with frustration, so they show these outbursts.
  • When a need is not met, children throw a tantrum.

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Signs Of a Child Temper Tantrum  

Signs Of Child Temper

When having such tantrums, your child may show these signs–

  • They can cry, whine and shout. 
  • Signs of kicking, hitting and pinching.
  • Flail their arms and legs.
  • Some children hold their breath. 
  • Children can make their bodies stiff sometimes as a sign. 

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How To Deal With Child Temper Tantrum? 

How To Deal With Child Temper Tantrum

When your child has such a tantrum, you may feel frustrated and have trouble keeping yourself from bursting out. However, there are some ways to handle these frustrations. Here are some tips that you many try to deal with such a situation –

Distract Them 

You can sense when your child is going to throw a tantrum. In this phase, the child does not burst out yet. You can stop the child’s temper tantrum from happening by pointing your child in another direction to something interesting, something that engages in an activity. 

Stay Calm

Threatening, lecturing, or arguing will have opposite effects when your child has started a tantrum. Instead, it would help if you stayed calm, but when they become calmer, you can talk to them about how they behaved earlier.

Ignore The Child’s Temper Tantrum 

You should not ignore your child. But, sometimes, when the tantrum gets higher, you need to show a little ignorance to show that their tantrum is unacceptable.     

Watch Over Them 

A tantrum is unacceptable sometimes, but you need to keep an eye on your children when they do so. Sometimes they might hurt themselves from kicking and throwing stuff here and there. 

Protect Them During A Tantrum 

When you see signs of a child’s temper tantrum, you should immediately put dangerous objects away from your child’s reach. 

Let Them Get Angry 

Anger, frustration, and sadness are also important emotions; you should not force your child to suppress those emotions. It is ok to let your child be angry sometimes. They need to channel those emotions too. 

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What To Do After A Child Temper Tantrum

Do After A Child Temper Tantrum

When your child calms down after a tantrum, you can do certain things to help them channel the negative emotions in a positive way. For instance– 

  • You can praise them for calming down.
  • When they are calm, you can acknowledge their feelings and say that you understand their frustration. 
  • Then you can help them identify these emotions and how they are for them. 
  • For the next thing, you can help them deal with these strong emotions on their own. 
  • Your child looks up to you; as a parent, you can set good examples before your child and help them shape and mold these emotions better.

Frequently Asked Questions 

I hope those previous sections have helped you understand a temper tantrum. However, if you have any more questions, I will ask you to go through the following questions and answers.

When Should I Feel Concerned About A Child Temper Tantrum?


Usually, these temper tantrums are normal, and there’s nothing to worry about. However, you need to seek a doctor’s help if you see these signs–
➼ If the tantrum remains after the age of 4.
➼ When your child holds their breath for too long during a tantrum. 
➼ If you feel frustrated and worry about how to handle it. 
➼ When your child hurts himself from a tantrum.


Is Temper Tantrum A Disorder?


Yes, these are impulse-control disorders, and the children show signs of aggression towards a person or a property.

What Do Tantrums Mean In Medical Terms?


In medical terms, it means bad temper, most importantly in children. It is a way for children to express strong emotions. But as they grow older they start to express those emotions in more controlled and acceptable ways. While this might seem a little difficult for parents, it’s critical to know that temper tantrums are crucial parts of childhood development. 

Bottom Line

There is no easy way to handle tantrums. As a parent, dealing with a child’s tantrum may seem hard. However, you need to keep your child from harm’s way at all costs and keep yourself calm in the process. The process of helping your child starts after he calms down. 

If you are looking for assistance, you can follow the tips I have provided above. However, if you have any more questions, feel free to comment.

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Shahnawaz Alam

editor

Shahnawaz is a dreamer, a living jukebox of rhetoric, music, art, poetry, and comics. Son to a single father, Shahnawaz has always been a keen observer of parenting – more importantly, looking at parenting from different angles. Shahnawaz holds a master's degree in English literature and loves to spend time in nature, admiring its beauty. While he’s not pondering upon the dynamics of parent-children relationships, he lets J. Alfred Prufrock be the piper of Hamelin and often sleepwalks to his monologues.

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